Sunday, March 29, 2009

The way nature intended (patent pending)

My husband and I were perfectly happy with our standard-issue; single-setting; no fuss, no muss; fixed shower head. It was roughly the diameter of a half-dollar and probably cost the same way back in the '70s when it was initially installed in our rinky-dink little stand-up shower unit.

But then someone — a houseguest (and I’m not naming names, not even if you twist my arm) — decided that we needed something more exciting, more robust … more in keeping with the times. And that person bought us a super-duper 10-setting, pivoting shower head that, for a time, did everything except change the light bulb above the sink.
It had all kinds of spray options:

Simple massage
Nebulizing mist
Power rain
Full rain with massage
Directed pattern spray
Random pattern spray,
Aeration spray,
Twirling spray,
Pulsating jet spray

It was Class-ay!

After that, and this was a while ago, my husband and I started having the hassle of having to change the other's selection of shower spray to the water-dropping-pattern-ratio of spray we preferred whenever we were scrubbing up.

I had the added problem of having to turn the shower head towards the wall so as to keep the water in the tub, something my husband can't really do because he'd never be able to get all the soap of his body. I figure the fact that the shower head is the size of a salad plate and our shower is the size of a gym locker is the cause of that added adjustment.

Of course time and minerals conspired against us, and eventually no matter what setting we wrestled the shower head into, what we got for our trouble was Do-it-Yourself Carwash (Patent pending).

We eventually stopped adjusting the spray, but continued to adjust its direction. Neither of us wanted to sandblast the sheetrock or cause a wading pool to collect on the floor.

Lately though, I noticed the shower head has been providing a rather unexpected, but pleasant effect; big, soft, fat drops seemed to be falling lightly now in a concentrated area. I found the change to be quite refreshing. The effect wasn’t really comparable to nature, nevertheless I tend to equate it with a summer rain shower, and I imagine THIS is probably what the shower head designers had in mind all along.

Soon, the spray wars in our house began anew.

I mentioned this revelation to my husband as we begin the dance with the setting once again. He likes his shower to be injected with little needle spindles of water whereas I'd be fine if mine were dumped over my head in a sudden rush of water as if coming from the spigot of a pump. My newly discovered “Rain Drop” was a few clicks to the right of his “Sand Your Skin Off Blast.”

"You know, I kind of like the way the shower isn't all scrub your skin off anymore."

"Oh, that," he replied. "You didn't notice? I just wiped the crusty mineral build-up off with my thumb."

"Now that's class-ay."

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