Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day! How about a contest?

BUT FIRST ... A word from our sponsors ...

DEAR EXILED IN TOYLAND READERS ... In case you weren't aware, Exiled in Toyland is a place where I've been personally archiving a column I write for a local newspaper, The Record. Up until recently it has been corporate policy to upload only a few items to our official web presence. Since that edict has changed, my columns will now be published every week here.

I hope you will come on over and visit at my "day job," where you can enter the "official" baby-naming contest and browse around.


Desperation can make you do strange things.

Like many women in my condition, I've been on the lookout for the perfect baby name.

Not the name that will go on the birth certificate, mind you. Miraculously the selection of the official designation has been relatively easy. It actually took up residence in my head the moment the ultrasound technician clued me in that Thing 2 was a boy.

No, I'm looking for something to use as a nom de plume here in these pages (and over at Ittybit's & Pieces).

You know, 'cause I have my priorities: A name is just a name but a nickname out in cyberspace lasts forever. So here I am obsessing over a name that fits well with "Ittybit" but doesn't make the kid seem as if he was an afterthought, affixed into the masthead with Scotch tape.

Ittybit and ...

I've got nothing.

Up until now I've stolen rather unabashedly from Theodor Geisel and his "Cat in the Hat" classic when referring to the kidlet swimming around in my gene pool. But when push comes to caesarian section sometime mid-June, I know a real fake name will have to be substituted.

But still, with the pressure on and the heat moving to the front burner, a suitable silly subtitle hasn't been forthcoming.

What's a mother to do?

Well, this mother consulted baby name books and Web sites, and watched movie credits roll past with more concentration than she spent on the movie’s plot. Unsuccessful, I waded through countless children's stories, looking for literary characters that would make snappy names. I started looking a products in stores, wondering if perhaps a name would jump out at me.

Hmmmmm. How about Ittybit and Tums? Nope. 'Not gonna do it.'

Then I took the passive approach. I waited for suggestions, hoping for intervention. When none showed up in my inbox, I wandered onto the Internet.

There I was, Googling for pet names when I stumbled across Pet Name Finder.
"This is promising," I thought as I typed my answers into the pop-up menus, pausing just before I clicked the send button. "Maybe an actual name for a pet will be the ticket."

To my surprise, though, the name that the computer came up with for my fictional fido was the EXACT one I'd had my heart set on for the child's given name.

So, OK, I have a name suitable for a child (or a pet), but I still don't have a pet name that rolls off the tongue and plays nicely with Ittbit. (Let’s face it, making sure the kidlets play nice is what it's all, right?)

With all my options running out, I'm doing what I should have done in the first place. Begging.

And that's where you come in, dear readers. I need your collective expertise, your naming acumen and most of all your At-least-I'm-sleeping-eight-hours-per-night minds.

I don't care how you do it. You can consult tea leaves or the stars or your loveable (but not so with-it) Aunt Marge, but send me your entries for Thing 2's nom de plume and a completely biased and arbitrary decision could make you a winner.

What you win will be determined, but I promise you won't be asked to change diapers.

To submit a entry: Write to me at The Record, 501 Broadway, Troy NY, 12108; email or fax 518.270.1202. Include your name, address and phone number with your submission. The deadline for entries is June 15. A winner will be announced when Thing 2 arrives.


MommasWorld said...

Here I thought all this time "This writer should be paid for her writing." I am glad you blog and happier that it pays to be you.

I came up with about a dozen names. Does the contest only allow one entry? I would hate to send in what I thought was the best one only to leave out what you would think is the best on my list.

After you pick a winner I hope you publish a list of names entered. It would be neat to see what creative names other came up with.

Good Luck!

toyfoto said...

Enter as many names as you like. I plan on writing something that acknowledges some of the "favorites."

So far the responses have been funny and heartwarming. So I really can't wait to share.

Lahdeedah said...

I totally think you should go with Spider... Itty bit and Spider climbed up mommy's nerve. Down came the tears and chased itty bitty and spider away, out came a breath of relifen and itty bitty and spider climbed up mommy's nerve...

Not that your new impending thing 2 will EVER do that. Newborns are precious and wonderful things that we love so much and never ever make us wish we were in tahiti with copious amounts of Corona, no , that's what three year olds are for....

toyfoto said...


Pageant Mom said...

That's hard to guess before knowing the personality of Thing 2!!! We call my daughter Gizmo because although she looks little and cute, if you give her sugar - evil pandemonium ensues... we call my son Firstborn because he's just that - and tries to exert his influence as such but tends to get lost in the wake of this sister's path of destruction...

...Will submit an entry if I get any revelation's from my rhinestone covered tea leaves!!!