All of a sudden things don't seem to
fit quite right.
Pants ride high. Shoes are tight. Belly
buttons are peeking over waistbands.
All the clothes that were swimming on
them last summer, it has become apparent, won't likely float them
through another season.
And it's not just clothes.
So many ideas that once seemed set in
stone are slowly turning to rubber.
The tooth fairy tripped up, pilfering a
bill from my pocketbook that had been marked and duly noted by its
newly toothless recipient.
The Easter Bunny doltishly stored his
chocolate likenesses in the car, where they were easily detected by
those who wouldn't sit still in their booster seats.
“Here's what I think,” ittybit said
to the air, turning on heel to face me and choosing her words with
the precision of a deft prosecutor as if giving her closing argument:
“I think that YOU are the Easter Bunny … and the Tooth Fairy …
and quite possibly Santa Claus. What do you have to say for
yourself?”
I bristled under the glare of her
accusatory spotlight. All of a sudden all that had once glittered in
manufactured magic was exposed as a lie made of sinister intent.
Her eyes were asking: “What could you
have gained from lying to a child.”
And at that moment I had to wonder the
same.
What would have been the harm in
quietly acknowledging milestones without introducing imaginary beings
who possess gossamer wings, floppy ears or eight tiny reindeer?
“SHHHHHHHHHHHH,” I hiss. “Your
brother can hear us. … Do you really want the truth?”
She nods her head, she's ready. It's
time.
Time for the speech I've practiced in
my head since the moment I started planting phony evidence (at least
thrice-yearly) of mythical beings sneaking around our house as we
sleep.
“Technically it's true that your
father and I have done much of the shopping and placement of holiday
gifts. And, essentially, it's true that much of what you can't see
requires varying amounts of faith and, now, skepticism.
But there comes a time when the simple
answer … perhaps even the least satisfying answer … is the answer
that you can't ignore.
“And yet as you come to accept this
disappointment, you also have to come to terms with the idea that the
truth isn't really that simple, either.
“This magic wasn't sculpted out of
lies and wishful thinking. It was crafted from all the things we try
to cultivate in ourselves: generosity, feeling special in the world
and that the unimaginable is possible.”
“The Easter Bunny may not be a
furry,bow-tied basket delivery animal in the
you-might-actually-get-a-glimpse-of-him-on-the-lawn-one-fine-Easter-morning
sense, but that doesn't mean the imagination behind such an idea is
valueless.
“It's not a lie … it's a parable.
It's not history it's poetry.”
My words had come tumbling out in her
direction willy-nilly like Super Balls. I could see in her expression
that some of them were sailing right over her head as others were
breaking her heart.
Nevertheless, her eyes were dry and
placid. I wasn't telling her anything she hadn't already figured out
on her own.
But the question that remains has to do
with how to proceed.
The Champ grabs the
not-so-cleverly-hidden chocolate bunny and holds it up. “What is
this doing here?” he wonders. “Why would the Easter Bunny put
chocolate in my mom's car?”
Before I could open my mouth to throw a
bunch of wordy Super Balls his way, she intervened.
“The bunny is just getting old and
senile. Probably hid it here last year and forgot all about it. I
wouldn't eat that if I were you.”
He smiles a devilish grin and unwraps a
section of milk chocolate ear. She rolls her eyes as he bites down.
She' may have outgrown these particular
clothes, but she can admit they are still a pretty good fit for her
brother.
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