A-OK

From the moment she covered her mouth and stared bug-eyed at the election results that sent her to Congress, I have loved watching Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

Maybe it is the mom in me? Or maybe it is the girl I used to be. There is something about her that just sparkles.

In so many other ways, AOC seems like the proverbial girl next door. The hostess with the mostest. The woman we hope our children will aspire to emulate. Maybe even the kind of human we, ourselves, set out to become.

She is bold and bright.

She is willing to work hard and fight the uphill battles. She is quick with a smile and quicker about her wits.

She is not afraid.

From the outset of her political career, she has been providing teachable moments. From her campaign ads to her after-hours clips on Instagram, she has invited us to learn alongside her as she experienced everything from how to re-pot a root-bound plant, to how to navigate some of the more moribund protocols that keep our government's workings a mystery to even the most astute voters.

During the last two years I have told anyone willing to listen they should not dismiss her because of her fervor or youth. They should neither peg her as intractable nor as a flash in the pan. Just watch her progress. 

I can't say that I was shocked by the so-called “tense exchange” between the Democratic newcomer and Republican Rep. Ted Yoho.

In front of reporters, Yoho made a name for himself by calling Ocasio-Cortez "disgusting" for her comments about New York City's recent spike in crime and her contention that it is rooted in hardship. He called her "dangerous" presumably for her other progressive stances. And in a parting shot after she spoke up had called him on his "rudeness," he hurled two expletives at her that are verboten to repeat in family newspapers.

Words lacking self control, said in a moment of outrage, certainly exist in the world we all navigate.

I will not clutch pearls over expletives.

But it's not the words that matter as much as the tone. And the tone is only as damaging as the bravado in which it is used. And the bravado is just a cover for the kind of cowardice that is facing its own irrelevance.

Hurt people, as they say, hurt people.

The abusive man may even string together the appropriate words of apology, and meaning them or not, force another kind of diminishment through that apology's acceptance. 

Not that Yoho made a legitimate apology.

As Ocasio-Cortez rightly pointed out, he didn't take responsibility for the confrontation. Instead he claimed having a wife and two daughters made him a decent man, and a decent man who who “cannot apologize for his passion.”

He didn't admit he was wrong so much as he tried to insist that his unprovoked mistreatment of a colleague was part of a dynamic that she as well had engaged.

I am glad AOC declined to give him a pass. I'm glad she is standing up to bullies and saying loudly and clearly that neither their tactics nor their apologies are A-OK.